This adoption miracle is about more than the adoption of a beautiful baby girl, but of the adoption of beautiful Lizzy into the redeemed family of Jesus Christ!
“God chose us to belong to Christ before the world was created. He chose us to be holy and without blame in his eyes. He loved us. So he decided long ago to adopt us. He adopted us as his children with all the rights children have. He did it because of what Jesus Christ has done. It pleased God to do it.”
Ephesians 1:4-5 (NIrV)
It all started with a hike. That’s where it became real. I freaked out and had no idea what to do! Oh my gosh.
* * *
I felt like I was going to marry this guy. He would talk about the future, about how we were going to get married, how we were so perfect for each other- and it felt great!
All my other friends seemed jealous, but he made it seem like we were the adults and they were the irrational ones. It seemed so real. But then he would get jealous when I would talk to my friends. He was super controlling.
We were living together, but then broke up because we were arguing non-stop. It was worse than ever, and we had only been dating for two months at most. I missed him so much, so I kept going down to the shore to visit him at his apartment.
I took a plan B – so we took some more liberties than we should have. And I remember exactly when I took the pill – I hesitated and thought, “Do I want to do this?” and I don’t know why, because obviously I wanted to, but at the time I thought, “Should I?” – I think now that the hesitation could have been God confirming that I really wanted to. . .
I was pregnant. I took the test at like 2:30 in the morning. It was positive, so I drove to Quick Check and bought a tub of ice cream and ate the whole thing. I had planned to go for a hike with friends so I took another test before I left to make sure. It was positive.
* * *
Back to the hike. . .
I didn’t know what to do. Abortion seemed like my only choice. I had had an abortion before, but I thought like this was God’s second chance for me to do the right thing. My first abortion was horrible – it was so scary. I bled for a month straight. We talked about the emptiness that I felt when my first baby’s soul left my body and that stood out to me so much, making me feel like I didn’t want to do it again.
But I scheduled an appointment. My “Christian” family insisted that I get an abortion, even though they would support me no matter what. My sister drove me. We got in the car and I started bawling my eyes out before we even left the development. She pulled over and said, “Apparently some things aren’t sitting quite right with you. I’m not going to take you like this.” To her, it wasn’t an actual abortion until plantation happened, which was very close to where I was in the pregnancy. She took me home and I went straight to Lydia’s house (a truly God-loving family I had become close to throughout the years).
Lydia and I were talking and I told her about the abortion and about all the things that I had to give up. She asked if I wanted to give my life to Jesus, and I said, “Of course.” But she asked what was stopping me from doing that. There were three things: drugs and alcohol, men, smoking. She said we had to pray for forgiveness, accept Jesus into our lives, recognize Him as our savior. So we prayed. That was the first time that I prayed out loud with anyone, and it was just very strange. We talked about some different options for the baby and where to go from here.
Meanwhile, the baby’s father wanted to get back together. I wanted him involved and everything, because obviously he’s the father and has the right to be involved, but he took that as wanting to get back together. This baby was a new priority for me– it wasn’t about making sure that I was ok, it was about making sure that the baby was ok. I needed something that was secure and stable, something I would be ok with. He did make an effort, but he was too open to my opinion; he wouldn’t take responsibility. So he left.
A few days later I met with Bethany Christian Adoption Services and the whole thing just unraveled itself.
* * *
Today my beautiful daughter, who’s almost crawling (I’m sure she’s crawling right now), is in a wonderful, loving, Christian home in Connecticut. I can’t wait to hear her talk, oh my gosh. And it’s so crazy, because now looking back, the timing is so crazy! Her family was days away from pulling their profile from the service. The adoption service almost didn’t put their profile in the pile of options for me to choose from. And theirs was the first that I picked up: I laughed, I cried, I felt every emotion. It was the perfect fit.
So, fast forward and now the family is perfect, we mesh together so well – her mom keeps me updated. I’m starting school in the Fall to be a Christian adoption counselor. – Which is CRAZY!
I am so thankful!